Toastmasters Speech

Tonight I was horrified.

Recently, I had joined a Toastmasters Club that meets every Tuesday evening here in Twin Falls, ID. As an educator, I realize the importance of communication, so I decided to work on the areas I need most to improve upon: writing (of which I work on it here at my blog) and public speaking (of which I practice at the Toastmaster's Club).

Tonight I was scheduled to speak for the first time. Yes, I had my ice-breaker, but that really doesn't count. Last week I was given the topic of "Eternity" to write on, and I was to be ready tonight to give my speech.

I wish I could say that I worked all week on it, but I can't. With classes to prep for, jobs to do, and my mother in the hospital, I didn't get to start on it until Sunday evening. When I did start it, I poured hours in on the project. I wanted to do the very best. Yes, we do have what is called a "Blue Pencil" Award which is given to the best speaker of the night, but I wasn't focusing on that. I really believed that God gave me an opportunity to speak and I was praying real hard that He would use this presentation.

As usual, there were two speakers for tonight. The first speaker was Susan Ray Schmidt. She just recently authored a book entitled, His Favorite Wife, which is her story of how she escaped Mormon polygamy. It's an excellent book and if you have the time, I highly recommend it. Susan got up first, and gave an gripping speech on what she went through as a wife to a Mormon polygamist. Her presentation was flawless and the material she spoke on was riveting.

After Susan was done, it was my turn. I had practiced and practiced for hours on my speech and to be honest, I thought it wasn't half bad! I had an opening story, my points flowed and I could be heard all the way in the back of the room. Like I said earlier, my biggest prayer was that God would have used my speech to His glory, and that it would influence others for Jesus Christ. This was all I could think about. I prayed before the speech, I prayed after the speech, and I trusted the Lord to use me how He saw fit.

At the very end of the meeting, the "Blue Pencil" award was given out, and it went to Susan! She really did a great job, and she graciously exclaimed that she thought I deserved it too.

What happened next horrified me! One of the fellow toastmasters in a joking way, made the statement, "Yes, and John thinks so too!" I know this man. He's a kind person and yet he loves a good joke. But I was still grieved. You see the problem was not the statement that he made, but the very fact is that he was partially right!

Yes, I did want to be used by God! Yes, I wanted to do the very best I could! yet, deep down in this wretched heart, there was a small portion that really did want to win the award! And this is what made me want to throw up!

God's Word says,

Jeremiah 17:9
9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Romans 3:10
10 As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

Romans 3:23
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

Tonight, I did my best, but I am going to work on getting better. I will need to prep longer, and memorize more of my speech than I had this time. But the one thing I am not quite sure on how to do is to purify my motives. Only through Christ and His power will I be able to succeed.

Compassion

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.


Over the past year, I had started praying that God would make me more compassionate to others. It's easy to build up a base of knowledge and facts, but if we don't have compassion for our fellow man, all the knowledge is not very profitable. This is why I believe the Lord has allowed my mother to slip somewhat in her mental faculties. I am no longer just responsible for paying the bills and driving the car, but now I have been required to get my mother to the bathroom on time, and clean up everything if I fail.

These struggles over the past couple of months has not only helped me grow spiritually, by developing greater compassion for Mom, but it also has opened my eyes to all those care-givers out there.

Before, whenever I had seen a CNA or Nurses Aide, I would not regard their work to be significant. Now that I am placed in that situation personally, I am humbled at their patience and fortitude. I never realized how much they are called upon to perform what initially seems menial but now is viewed by me as being extremely important in proper care-giving.

Right now, my mother is in the hospital and is scheduled to go into the Care Center for a while longer. If God allows my mom to come home again, I will more than gladly serve her needs, even if accidents do happen.

Attempting a Come Back

It's been a while since I've blogged on this site. Actually, I am amazed that it was still in existence, but recently, the Lord has been placing on my heart to write more than I have been doing so far.

Do I know if anyone reads these? Sure, you're here! Right?

Anyways, my goal is to use this site for short essays on topics that are important to you, the readers.

How will these topics be handled?

Well, first off, they won't contain popular opinion. There are too many blogs out there that contain too much opinions.

Second, these essays will contain God's Word. If you have read my profile, and are familiar with my other posts, you should know by now that I back up what I write with Scripture. People are tired of hearing preachers preach a message one minute and then beg for money immediately afterwards. Thanks to sites like blogger.com, we can share these essays for minimal cost! Besides, it really wasn't my idea to start this blogging up again, I really believe it was the Lord's. And if it was His idea, and I remain faithful to this project, He promises to provide for my needs.

Philippians 4:19
19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Hudson Taylor, the great 19th century missionary to China made the statement, "God's work, done God's way, never lacked God's provision."

Keep me in your prayers.
-jch